YOU ARE THE VILLAIN IN SOMEONES STORY

There’s one universal truth that most people spend their lives avoiding.
You’re the a**hole in someone’s story.

It doesn’t matter who you are or what you do. Someone, somewhere, has decided you’re the villain in their version of events. You replied too bluntly. You didn’t like their idea. You were too loud, too honest, too something.

The question isn’t whether you’ll be someone’s a**hole. It’s why.
Because if you’re going to carry that title anyway, you might as well earn it by being yourself.

💀 The Corporate Personality Problem

Modern business has a personality crisis.
Every founder, leader, and professional wants to “stand out,” but most of them sound like they were generated by ChatGPT in 2019.

We’ve replaced human voices with LinkedIn-safe buzzwords and PowerPoint optimism.
We write like press releases and talk like job adverts.

People think playing it safe protects their image. It doesn’t. It just makes them forgettable.

There’s a line between being professional and being a personality vacuum — and most of corporate culture has swan-dived straight over it.

⚙️ The False Divide

Somewhere along the way, someone told us to keep our personal and professional selves separate.
Be personable, but not personal. Be friendly, but not familiar. Be authentic, but only in ways that won’t make marketing nervous.

It’s a lie that’s been killing businesses and leaders for years.

Because here’s the thing — if you’re online, there is no divide. You are the brand.
People don’t follow companies; they follow characters.

And if your public self sounds like a corporate press release, you’re telling the world there’s nothing real behind it.

🧠 Authenticity Is a Filter, Not a Flaw

Everyone wants to be liked, but likability is overrated.
Trying to be everyone’s cup of tea just makes you lukewarm.

The truth is, authenticity is a magnet. It attracts and repels at the same time — and that’s how it’s meant to work.

When you write, talk, and lead like yourself, you’ll lose the wrong people faster and keep the right ones longer.
You’ll repel clients who waste your time and attract the ones who get your humour, energy, and honesty.

Real personality doesn’t divide an audience. It defines it.

💬 The Fear of Being Seen

Perfectionism and professionalism often hide the same fear — being seen for who you really are.
It’s safer to sound neutral, to blend in, to “keep it corporate.”

But all that safety kills momentum.
When you hide your real tone, you lose the people who might have followed you because of it.

Professionalism isn’t the absence of personality; it’s the ability to show up and deliver. You can swear, joke, rant, and still be brilliant.
You can be passionate without being polished.

The problem isn’t unprofessional people.
It’s unoriginal ones.

🪞 Founders Set the Tone

If you run a business, you don’t get to hide behind your brand.
You are the brand.

Your tone becomes your team’s tone.
Your confidence becomes their permission.

If you’re fake online, they’ll assume that’s what works.
If you’re open, blunt, and honest — they’ll know that’s safe too.

Your voice sets the standard.
And beige leadership creates beige culture.

⚡ The Stuart Example

I’ve been called “an equal-opportunities a**hole.”
Good. I’ll take that.

Because when you’re clear about who you are, you give everyone else permission to be real too.
Some people love it, some people don’t — and that’s exactly how it should be.

When you lead with honesty, you stop playing the approval game.
You start attracting the people who are aligned, not just available.

Being yourself doesn’t mean being reckless. It means showing your full self — the humour, the mistakes, the weird opinions that make you you.
That’s what people remember.

💬 The Cost of Hiding

When you censor yourself, you lose authenticity by degrees.
Every “better not say that” and “keep it safe” is another cut to your credibility.

You don’t need to share your trauma or post your breakfast every morning.
But you do need to sound like a human.

Otherwise, someone else who does will get the job, the client, or the following you were too scared to deserve.

Remember, people can only connect to what’s visible.

🔥 Make Peace With Being the A**hole

You’re going to upset someone anyway.
You’ll offend, irritate, or confuse. You’ll make mistakes, post things people hate, and be taken out of context.

Good.
That’s the cost of existing publicly.

The goal isn’t to avoid being the a**hole. It’s to make peace with it.
To know that if someone doesn’t like you, it’s because you showed up as yourself, not a cardboard cut-out.

Every strong voice online has a hate-list.
Every brand that matters has critics.
Every leader with real impact has someone calling them names in private messages.

Wear it like a badge. It means you’re doing something that matters.

🚀 The Unfounded Truth

When I built Unfounded, I didn’t try to please everyone.
I didn’t make it perfect. I made it real.

It’s rough, loud, imperfect, and human — because that’s the point.
It’s not about being liked by everyone; it’s about being trusted by the right people.

So yes, I’m the ahole in someone’s story.
You are too.
The question is: are you the ahole because you’re fake, or because you’re finally being yourself?

📖 If you want more brutal truths about building something real — including yourself - read “Unfounded.”